The continuing misadventures of the…
Brought to you by Trump Supporters
And this just in…
And this just in…
FROM THE PLUMBING DEPT: “What did he flush? And when did he flush it?” In February it was disclosed that toilets in the Trump White House were periodically clogged from Trump flushing official documents down them. Every time you think Punkinhead has delivered the worst visual image you can ever carry in your head, he sits down and… ummm… conjures another one. As an encore to that spectacular visual horror, he was then found illegally possessing fifteen boxes of Secret documents he took from the White House. If those documents had pooh on them, it severely impacted their value to the Russians.
FROM KIMMEL: “Trump’s face looks like a honey glazed ham”.
FROM THE SCANDALS DEPT: All Trump scandals go thru the same five phases:
1. It didn’t happen.
2. OK, it did happen but it’s no big deal.
3. OK, it is a big deal but it’s not illegal.
4. OK, it might be illegal, but….. but….
5. Hillary’s emails….!
FROM THE IMMIGRATION DEPT: We’ll take an immigrant over a MAGAt any day. Immigrants work hard and contribute to America’s growth and strength. MAGAts sit on their asses waiting for their SSI check to come in while stomping their feet and running around like their hair is on fire. Who would you rather have as a neighbor?
FROM NASA: NASA announced that Janet Watkins, an African-American woman astronaut, will be on the team for the lunar landing scheduled for 2024. A woman AND a person of color? Little cult45 heads will be exploding all over the country.
FROM THOMAS JEFFERSON: “A successful democracy requires an educated and well informed citizenry. Sadly, half of the electorate in our country are now so stupid they wouldn’t know if they pooped their own pants”. Well put, Mr. Jefferson, well put.
FROM THE EDUCATION DEPT: There are approximately 13,000 school districts in America, almost none of which have an education professional on the school Board. And now the cult45ists are overrunning school boards nationally to make their curriculums even more worthless. As always: The surest way to a good education is to not be born to MAGAt parents.
FROM THE GENEALOGY DEPT: It is estimated there have been 117 billion humans born onto our planet since the evolution of our current species around 300,000 years ago. In scientific terms, that’s a lot of people. It would be an exaggeration to say Donald Trump is the worst human being who has ever lived (a very slight exaggeration to be sure, but nonetheless) (we could launch another debate over whether he is the most worthless human being ever born). What we can be sure of is there are currently eight billion people on our planet, and a vast majority of them are eagerly waiting for the day the Mango Maniac drops dead. This event will cause a global celebration, with people dancing in the streets. Too bad Trump won’t be here to enjoy it— it’s going to be the BIGGEST CROWDS EVER!
FROM THE SPONSOR DEPT: slingthought is proud to be the official sponsor of Donald Trump dropping dead.